You're not a true student if you haven't said one of these sentences

Mazzy Westwoodon 25 July 2018
You're not a true student if you haven't said one of these sentences

Becoming a student is entering a new era in your life, you are meeting new friends, trying new things, getting a degree (hopefully) but most importantly, you become enrolled in the infamous ‘Student Lingo’.

Oh yes, that’s right. Any student who’s anyone has said at least 70% of the listed phrases below. There’s no shame, we’re all the same.

“Are we going out, or out-out?”

Now I don’t know if this is specifically a British thing or not, but there is a distinct difference between going ‘out’, and going ‘out-out’.

Going ‘out’, might mean going for a bite to eat at Nando’s, or simply heading to your Union Bar for a drink or two.

Whereas going ‘out-out’, well, this is a whole new ball game. Going ‘out-out’ means a proper night on the town; it means clubbing, and partying, and pre-drinking in someone’s flat, and then crashing at 5am at another person’s flat with kebab all over your face. This is what we mean when we say ‘out-out’.

So, the next time someone asks you, or you ask someone else “Are we going out, or out-out?” Prepare yourself for what might be in store.

“You only need 40%...”

The oh-so-familiar saying that can sum up first year entirely.

We all start our first year full of ambition and pride, fresh from the stresses of Sixth Form and ready to make our mark on our new course. That is, of course, until you realise you only need 40% to get into second year…

Before you know it, this simple sentence is becoming your justification for pretty much everything.

Not done your reading for a seminar? You only need 40%...

Want to go to the pub but you have an assignment due? You only need 40%

You want to binge watch the whole of Friends and then go ‘out-out’ to your favourite club, come home smashed and will probably remain drunk for a solid 2 days? You only need 40%

See! It is the perfect formula for ignoring responsibilities. Every student will relate to the first year bliss of only needing to get 40%.

Source: Giphy

“Where are we having pres tonight?”

Ah, a question nearly as old as time itself.

Where the bloody hell are we having pres?

Is it my flat? Oh okay no… your flat? What about Jack’s flat? No? Right… hmmm… Katie is busy we can’t pre at hers. Susan has gone home for the weekend.

Oh yeah and Ben’s flatmate is being oversensitive about an exam he has in 3 weeks and is demanding complete silence so we can’t go there…

…what about that bus stop there? That could work?

I am obviously not saying that every student has to pre-drink in obscure places before going out, but damn, it sure can be a mission finding a place.

All you want is a warm, welcoming home to take you in for those precious few hours before a night out (oh and of course somewhere to play beer pong. I mean, priorities here guys).

This is only the beginning. Anyone who’s been invited to multiple pre-drinks will understand the war that comes with this question.

Suddenly there are two sides, one side going to Holly’s pres, and the other side going to Luke’s. You start to panic because you don’t want to be rude to Holly but you can’t stand her flatmate, and then all of a sudden Luke might cancel his pres and…

You’ve just got to choose. Best of luck my fellow students, you’ve got this.

“For God’s sake Eduroam”

Eduroam. Oh, Eduroam. This is the notorious student Wi-Fi network that I’m fairly certain is out to get us all.

At first it seems exciting, ‘Ooo a Wi-Fi network just for us!’ However, slowly but surely it begins to cut out, completely ruining your Netflix binge… (Oh wait sorry, I mean completely ruining all the research you are doing…)

It’s about as reliable as Adam from Love Island, flickering on and off when it chooses. Not to mention that struggle of having to sit/stand/or lie in a certain position to get the optimum connection.

It truly is a love-hate relationship, but without a doubt, every student has said ‘For God’s sake Eduroam’ (or something a little less PG…)

Source: Giphy

“I’m going to start this assignment early”

Famous last words. Every student has been at the grips of this false sense of security.

After the most stressful 3 days of cramming in a 2000 word essay, you promise yourself ‘Never, ever, EVER, will I do that again. I’m going to start this next assignment early.’

And for a couple of days you actually believe it. You are a new person, you have grown, this is your time to shine, you will get that first, you can –

But wait. You’re a student. Of course you’re not going to start an assignment early. It’s almost scientifically proven that students run on all-nighters, energy drinks and 3am breakdowns. What’s not to love!?

I mean you could start your assignment early, but then again, pub?

Source: Giphy

“Pub?”

Never before has one singular word brought so much unity, serenity, and positivity into a student’s life.

Pub?

You instantly feel soothed from the stresses of deadlines.

Pub?

The half-completed seminar reading can wait.

Pub?

Heck, even Netflix can wait.

This unique student word is commonly used and widely appreciated. Some say it is known to have stopped conflicts in their path, simply with the small exchange of words:

“Pub?” “Pub.”

Why not? Let's go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this all to blow over.

Source: Giphy

“Has anyone got cash for the taxi?”

This is a painful yet familiar phrase for many of those party-goers out there. We all know the struggle of going for a night out with cash, and then returning without it.

I mean it’s easily done… say you’re on a night out having a great time, you’re splashing the cash on drinks and then maybe end the night with some cheeky cheesy chips, and BAM! You’re left with an awkward 76p made out of loose change, and you’re stuck on how to get home.

Cash + Students = Unheard-of.

This is where the slightly slurred “Has anyone got cash for the taxi?” gets spat out through a mouthful of food, and the poor guy left with a tenner is screwed…

Oh well, wouldn’t be a proper night out if you’re not counting out every single penny to get a cab home.

Source: Giphy

“Treat yourself”

Oh I love this one - it’s the PERFECT excuse to treat yourself to that new pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing up, or for getting a midweek takeaway.

This is the funny thing about being a student really… you have a mere handful of lectures a week. That’s it. No Dolly Parton nine-five weeks going on, no five days a week/five periods a day at school.

And even so, we still manage to miss approximately 73% of our lectures.

However, when we do make it to a lecture, it’s even more reason to TREAT YO-SELF DARLIN’. Don’t let anyone take away the pride of finally sitting through 45 minutes of your degree.

Put those feet up.

Open that wine.

Order that takeaway.

You deserve it – treat yourself.

If you enjoyed this article, we think you'll love;

Mazzy Westwoodon 25 July 2018