“A doorstop... Uncle Gary, you shouldn’t have”.
Student-hood marks a significant change in your family's gift-giving approach. Gone are the days of circling whatever you want from the Argos catalogue. Now whatever is deemed ‘useful’ for your new life at University is more important than your likes and dislikes. Here’s 9 types of presents that are not on our wish list this Christmas.
Gifts related to drinking, that are not alcohol
Everyone loves to joke about your binge-drinking lifestyle when you return home. (“I heard you’ve been sentenced to a life behind bars”... ha ha haaa...) So much so that they give you gifts related to drinking such as impressive but impractical oversized wine glasses or things imprinted with ‘humorous’ quotes. Whether it’s a coaster, mug, or god-forbid, an item of clothing, it will be decorated with the likes of “According to Chemistry, Alcohol is a Solution”. Well if that’s the case why didn’t you actually buy me some?
Random shit
Maybe an abacus, frying pan or if you’re really lucky a beach ball. Fingers crossed for a gift receipt.
Stationary
Not much has changed since the primary school days of deciding on a brand new shimmery pencil case each year at WHSmiths (usually Groovy Chick). Let’s get things straight - if I want any stationary in my life, I’m picking it myself.
Something to remind you of home
Although well meaning, a picture of your pet dog may just push you over the edge during exam time. Sentimental offerings can also be strange e.g. a pillow with your family’s faces on... that DEFINITELY does not belong in your Uni room. It would be like they’re watching your every move... which would be almost as weird as this:
Vouchers for places you don’t like
Your relatives tend to not have the best grasp on where you like to shop which can cause problems when they decide to get you a voucher – a B &Q gift card just doesn’t cut it. This is a real shame as when done right, vouchers are a nice safe option as you’re essentially choosing your own present.
Something cheap – when they gave your sibling something awesome (and expensive)
Sibling rivalry is intense at Christmas as the ongoing competition for who is the family favourite really heats up. Christmas day, and the results are in - in the form of who got the best gift. If you got a phone case and your brother got an new iPhone your family’s morals ought to be questioned.
Awkward gifts
There is arguably nothing worse than receiving an embarrassing present. (Apart from watching a film with your family that features a sex scene, that is.) If you haven't opened it yet, never open your Uni Secret Santa Gift in front of your parents. It’s just not a risk worth taking.
Gifts aimed at a completely different age group
Older and more distant relatives tend to be most guilty of this. Whilst there are some things we enjoyed as a kids that we might still be happy to receive now (those glitter tattoos for instance…) there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed. Your Grandma forgetting that you’re no longer 10 years old and buying you children’s clothes is about as bad as getting a stainless steel wok when you were actually 10.
When they decide you’re too old for presents
There are no words.
All in all we should probably be grateful for whatever we receive. Christmas isn’t just about presents after all, it’s about eating your own body weight in food…
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