Ultimate icks: Christmas edition

Katie Bakeron 7 December 2022
Santa looking shocked

There are lots of things to love about Christmas and the holiday season, but there are also plenty of things that just give you the ick.

If you’ve looked outside your window in the past couple of weeks, you’ll know that it’s officially cuffing season, so we’ve come back with a festive twist on our ultimate list of icks. Let us know if you experience any of these over the holidays!

Being taken on a date to Winter Wonderland

I’m sorry, it had to be said. The Christmas-themed event may have been cool back in 2012, but I feel like we’ve been through a lot since then. And with the cost-of-living crisis, I’m sure we can do without a 30 quid pint. Not to mention it screams “Boohoo Man”.

“So what are your plans this Christmas?” 

We’ve all asked it, but do we actually mean it? There’s nothing worse than explaining your life story to a stranger on Hinge. Not to mention it builds up the expectation for you to have actually have a good time.

Unironically wearing Christmas jumpers

Say what you want, but unless you’re Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones’s Diary, I doubt anyone can pull it off.

Singing Christmas carols

We’re not living in Love Actually.

Drinking mulled cider

I don’t know, there’s just something about it that screams “I can’t handle my alcohol”. Do it properly and drink mulled wine.

Christmas-scented soaps

Picture this. You’ve just shagged, you’re in their bathroom minding your own business until you’ve spotted a bottle of body soap in the shower labelled “The Christmas Carol”, perfectly paired with a TK Maxx sticker on the side. 

Eating the sweets from a Christingle

Is there anything worse than watching a grown person eat sweets that have been touched by everyone in the church (and even ickier when they’re Jelly Babies)?

Clapping at the end of a Christmas film

This one’s self-explanatory.

Stuffing the turkey

Firstly, it’s 2022, we should all be vegan. Secondly, ew.

Pulling crackers (and losing)

If you’re past the age of 5 and haven’t figured out the knack to win every time, I’m not sure what you’re doing.

Midnight Mass

Go to bed.

When the whole family wears matching pyjamas

And their mum posts the pictures on Facebook.

Thinking they’re too cool to wear a paper crown

Don't be a grinch.

Wearing said paper crown for too long

There’s a time limit of around 15 minutes – and even that’s pushing it.

Eating an advent calendar all in one go 

Smh. There’s this thing called self-control. Use it.

Calling it “Crimbo”

This used to be cool in 2011. It’s been a hot minute since then.

Posting your gifts on Instagram 

Bonus points for being #blessed.

Wearing a Santa hat

Put it in the bin.

Personalised photo baubles

If they buy you one of these, run!

Getting visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve

Just go to therapy! There are easier ways to learn a lesson!

Like our Christmas icks? Check out the list that started it all and the sequel:

Things that give you the ick: the ultimate list of irrational turn-offs

The weirdest ‘icks’: Volume 2

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Katie Bakeron 7 December 2022