The Instagram girl... The family... Which Boomtown festival-goer are you?!
It’s that time of year again, you’re sat in front of Netflix scrolling through your phone when your Facebook newsfeed suddenly becomes bombarded with hordes of festival photos which all look the exact same. Feel like you’re missing out? Well, fear not, there’s no need to even go now, as here is a whistle-stop tour of everyone you’ll meet at Boomtown festival. Which one are you?
The Instagram Girl
Sporting the edgiest and most well put-together outfit you could possibly imagine, with 90% of her body covered in either glitter or face paint, the Instagram Girl has not come to Boomtown to play games. She has a serious agenda, making sure that her Instagram feed is peppered with images of her looking like she is having the most unbelievable time of her life whilst simultaneously maintaining completely unattainable beauty standards.
She will definitely make you feel inferior as you shuffle past her in your wellies, anorak and bedraggled hair. But, you know what they say, you can’t put a filter on fun…
The Hippy
This guy is also taking himself pretty seriously but in a very different way. Whether he’s pulling some serious shapes in the Psychedelic forest or bopping about in the Lion’s Den, he is exuding some seriously chilled out vibes. Dreadlocks swinging to and fro, and red stripe and spliff in hand, this guy is so deep in the mix he needs a mask and snorkel. You might be able to get quite a few words out of him if you ask him about his recent trip to South America, though.
The Roadman
Bucket hat, sunnies and North Face jacket, this guy is as ready for that dutty bassline as he’ll ever be. Although they may seem initially harmless, beware, as The Roadman hunts in large packs, and taunting one of them may lead to wide-scale ramifications.
The Festi-Couple
Awww, aren’t they cute? Is what these guys think everyone’s thinking when they walk past them snogging each other’s faces off on the top of the helter-skelter. In reality, everyone really wants them to please move over and also find a slightly more normal place for a romantic retreat which doesn’t involve sleeping in a puddle, in a muddy tent, and pissing in a hole in the ground.
The Family
Why are they here? Who knows. Are they having a good time? Who knows. What do they do all day with a 7-year-old child and a baby? Who knows. The Boomtown family are a true enigma, the mysterious ‘other’, something which can only really be understood by infiltrating Kidztown itself. To be fair though, having got lost and accidentally stumbled through it, I can definitely see the appeal.
The Regular
The Regular truly lives and breathes for Boomtown. They’ve come to Boomtown again, but fuck knows if this time they’re ever going to leave. Doing their 6th year in a row, the regular looks forward to the next Boomtown from the very day that the previous one ends. They seem to have spent hours rote-learning the playlist of every venue but attempt to drop it in in the most off-the-cuff manner they possibly can and have the festival map engrained into both their mind and soul, however, we can definitely see through them.
They love to give advice on camping locations more than anything and expect to get a lot more detail in your answer than you vouched for. Don’t expect them to be removing their collection of threadbare, gnarled, ancient wristbands collecting up their weather-beaten arm, no amount of love or money in the world could make them get rid of those.
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