Living in halls is a breeze right? Wrong! Here's why living in halls can be a nightmare...
Sure, we've all been there done that, stepped and slipped on floors splattered with Echo Falls and Sambuca the morning after. Lived off 35p Cans of Spaghetti Bolognese from Sainsbury's or even cried on the phone to our mothers, telling them we want out already. But what about those who have yet to join the ITTY BITTY SH*TTY STUDENT HALLS COMMITTEE?... Well, first things first.
1) DO NOT and I REPEAT DO NOT - EXPECT YOUR FRIDGE TO BE FULL/ HOW YOU LEFT IT.
Expect to come back to your side of the fridge with food missing. It has either been stolen, teefed or eaten.
2) BEER PONG and OTHER DRINKING GAMES ARE BORING.
If you want to have some real fun, sit around a circle with your mates and play the classics, you can never go wrong with Monopoly- course, don't expect to keep your friends after that.
3) IS SOMEONE GOING TO TAKE OUT THE BIN SERIOUSLY?? ANYONE... NO??
4) DO NOT EXPECT TO GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH- HALLS are EXPENSIVE FOR WHAT YOU GET MOST OF THE TIME.
You may want to opt for something not too shabby, hopefully you like to pray at night, because you are going to need all the guidance you can get.
5) TOILET ROLL... HIDE IT... TREASURE IT... YOU'RE WELCOME!!
6) AFTER YOU HAVE PAID A WHOLE TERMS RENT UPFRONT...
7) LIVING WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE FROM YOUR UNIVERSITY IS A GOD SEND.
8) FRESHERS FLU IS A THING... SO AVOID HUMAN INTERACTION FOR THE FIRST 2 WEEKS, YOU'LL THANK ME LATER.
9) LET THE AWKWARD "WAIT TILL THEY LEAVE THE KITCHEN SO I CAN USE IT" GAMES BEGIN.
10) SHARED HALLS BE LIKE...
11) NETFLIX- JUNK FOOD- LONG NAPS- ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR- BAD BREATH- THREE DAYS IN THE SAME KNICKERS/BOXERS- SKIPPING LECTURES- PARTYING 4 DAYS A WEEK- JUNK FOOD- NETFLIX AND MULTIPLE DRUNK HOOK UPS.
12) LONG NIGHT THOUGHTS OF "AM I REALLY HERE, IS THIS WHERE I WANT TO BE?
13) HOPEFULLY YOUR HEADPHONES/EARPHONES HAVE NOISE CANCELLATION.
Unless you want to hear Dave and Amy getting jiggy with it.
14) CAN SOMEONE TELL THE CLEANER TO GET OFF THE PHONE AND ACTUALLY CLEAN??
15) SAVE! SAVE! SAVE! AS MUCH AS YOU CA-
Oh wait ... hahahahahaha you can't, because you paid your terms rent upfront.
Although it all sounds like a bit of a nightmare, it does have its perks. You learn valuable life skills of living with people with different personalities and walks of life to you. You learn to take care of yourself, your money and your sanity, (if you'll have any of that left). You'll make some good friends, hopefully lifelong friends. You will learn to stay on top of your work somehow, someway. You learn to balance your school life and social life.
You will also have one of the craziest, funniest most memorable times of your life. So enjoy it whilst it lasts folks.
I know I didn't.